This Picture is a Raptors highlight folks...that's how bad it is right now...

The Raps got wacked 92-66 by the Grizzlies last night…In the battle of Spain, Pau Gasol had 15 points, 10 boards, 4 assists and 1 steal vs. 6 points, 2 rebounds, 4 assists and 2 steals for Jose Maria Olozabal…As if losing wasn’t bad enough, now Damon Stoudamire says he felt sorry for the Toronto Raptors , remembering the struggles when he was on the team. ''This is the same thing that went on eight years ago,'' said Stoudamire, who was part of a Toronto team that went 16-66 in 1997-98. ''I remember them days like it was yesterday. I feel for them. I know what it's like to lose that many. What are they 1-15? I've been there before. I know all about that.'' …Toronto's Jalen Rose , earning $15.6 million this season, did not start for the second straight game and finished with just two points in 12 minutes.

Stats: A lot of things went wrong here, but the stat that really, really stands out is this one: The Grizzlies had 21 assists on 37 field goals…the Raptors had 8 assists on 25 field goals…pass the damn ball….

Bab Robcock watch:

Rafael Araujo – 0 points on 0-2 from the floor, 5 rebounds, 2 fouls…
Joey Graham – 12 points on 5-8 from the floor and 2-2 from the line, 4 rebounds 1 assist…
Charlie V – 9 points on 4-11 from the floor and 1-2 from the line, 6 rebounds and 1 assist…

Steve Nash went bananas last night: "I wasn't looking for them, I don't ever focus on them," Nash said after scoring a season-high 31 points, including a career-high seven 3-pointers, as the well-rested Phoenix Suns beat the tired Indiana Pacers 109-91 Wednesday night for their fourth straight victory. Coming into the game, Nash had hit only 12 of 42 long range shots in 12 games. This time, he was 7-for-8. "I don't shoot that many in the summer, so it takes me some time to get into my rhythm," he said, after hitting 10-of-15 overall from the field.

The C’s get a win with a good effort from PP and a surprise from Mark Blount’s replacement: Paul Pierce had 32 points and 11 rebounds, while Kedrick Perkins (who?) had career highs with 12 points, 19 rebounds and 4 assists as the Celtics beat the 76ers 110-103 last night. "I've been playing uptight and the coaches have told me to relax," Perkins said. "I knew things were going my way when I hit a jump hook in the first half. I haven't done that since high school." Allen Iverson had 40 points for Philadelphia, but being guarded by Delonte West in the 4th quarter led to only 2 hoops in the period.

Quote of the Night - "In the past we have had trouble scoring and we were a good defensive team. This year is totally the opposite and we can't stop anybody." Sixers guard Allen Iverson, after his team lost to the C's….

1) Chris Mannix of SI.com is a Bab Robcock supporter:

The Rant - Raptors fans need to lay off GM Babcock

Patience is a virtue, Toronto. One you don't seem to have. I'm not going to rip Canadian sports fans, I promise. I'm not going to trash them for failing to support the Grizzlies or make hay about the demise of the Expos. I've got the Canada-bashing PTI guys for that. But I will say this: leave Rob Babcock alone. It's become en vogue in Toronto to take shots at the maligned Raptors GM. The guy is as popular there as Jean Charest is in Quebec. A couple of weeks ago a fan brought a sign to a Raptors game that read, "Fire Babcock" on one side and "Raptor Killer" on the other. Recently it was reported that Babcock has taken to wearing earplugs at Toronto games to block out hecklers. Nice, Toronto, very nice. First let me ask you this: what was so special about the 2003 Raptors, since apparently that is the team you're pining for? That group went 24-58 and was the reason Babcock was hired in the first place. You want to talk trades? Fine, but please don't talk to me about Vince Carter. You weren't going to win with him. The best chance you had was in 2001, and even then you couldn't get out of the second round. Yes, Babcock got 30 cents on the dollar for him, but Carter didn't want to be in Toronto and you don't win anything with disgruntled players -- which I think just about covers Rafer Alston.
You want to talk drafting? OK, Rafael Araujo was a clunker. Jerry West drafted Troy Bell -- you want to fire him too? Tell me, how many GM's would have the guts to draft Charlie Villanueva with the seventh overall pick or the savvy to pick Jose Calderon off the scrap heap? You got Joey Graham bouncing in and out of the starting lineup and Roko Ukic kicking around in Spain. What more do you want? Leave Babcock alone. Running an NBA team is an imperfect science and there are bound to be a few bumps along the way. You want to get upset? Wait two years, when Jalen Rose comes off the books. See what he does then. For now, get off his back. Or at least promise you won't jump on the bandwagon when he turns things around.

2) John Hollinger of ESPN.com is nuts:

MVP: Looking beyond the usual crowd

Nothing gets people riled up, it seems, quite as much as talking about MVP candidates. Last year, for instance, the heated rhetoric on either side of the Steve Nash vs. Shaq debate went streaking well beyond basketball into diatribes about racism, international basketball and the increasing prevalence of bad haircuts. So it was with great trepidation that I dipped my toe into the shark-infested waters known as the MVP race, especially since the season is just a few weeks old. Today, I'm focusing on a specific aspect of the race: the unexpected. Sizing up an MVP race is always tough because, almost by definition, the surprises tend to be attention-getters. Yes, you have the usual suspects. This year they include hardy perennials Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett and popular preseason pick LeBron James. But each year there are at least one or two players of lesser stature who wedge themselves into the MVP race, either by playing over their heads or by leading their teams to greater heights than expected. A year ago, of course, that player was Nash. Before he went to Phoenix, the general consensus on Nash was that he was an All-Star caliber player, but not anybody who was likely to end up with an MVP trophy sitting above his fireplace. Similarly, four years ago Jason Kidd went to New Jersey and nearly pulled off a similar feat by igniting a moribund Nets team and leading it to the Eastern Conference championship. So what about this year? Is there a surprise MVP lurking in the shadows who can possibly challenge the year-in, year-out contenders? To answer that, I combed through the league looking for the best combinations of individual accomplishment and team performance from the game's second (or lower) tier of stars. None of these players is likely to win the award, mind you, but that's the point: We're searching for a dark-horse MVP. After careful consideration, seven players qualify. If a Nash or Kidd emerges, it should come from among this group:

Elton Brand, Clippers. If I had to put my money on one entry from the "field" of dark-horse candidates, it would be this guy. Several markers are in his favor. First and foremost, his stats speak for themselves -- averages of 23.1 points, 10.5 rebounds and 2.6 blocks and 56.0 percent shooting are hard not to notice. He's also kept his nose clean and toiled in relative obscurity for years, which should earn him some votes from those who see the MVP trophy partly as a lifetime achievement award. Paradoxically, the biggest item in his favor is the horrendous organization that employs him. Because the Clippers have been so perennially unsuccessful, any season in which they win anything is bound to produce a surge of support for their key players in the award voting. And lo and behold, the Clippers are sitting atop the Pacific Division at the moment, which could result in their being seeded as high as second in the Western Conference playoffs. While Brand's lack of flash hurts his candidacy, the sheer Cinderella aspect of the story may be enough to get him into serious contention anyway, as long as the Clippers keep winning.

Gilbert Arenas, Wizards -- With Larry Hughes gone to Cleveland, the Wizards unquestionably are Arenas' team now. So far he has them in the playoff hunt despite a hugely disappointing start from the Wizards' big free-agent pickup, Antonio Daniels. Arenas' numbers -- 26.5 points (fourth in the NBA) and 6.2 assists per game -- are the best part of his story, but to garner serious consideration, he'll have to do more in the "little things" department. Right now, he's still mostly a scoring point guard, and he could help his candidacy by doing more to get his teammates involved and cutting down on his turnovers. On the other hand, if the Wizards can get a top-five seed in the East without Hughes -- unlikely, but not completely impossible -- Arenas would become a fairly irresistible candidate. Like Allen Iverson, he plays an obscene number of minutes (43 per game this year) and willingly plays hurt. And unlike Iverson, he can make 3-pointers (37.6 percent).

Tracy McGrady, Rockets -- A year ago, Nash helped his case relatively early in the season when he missed five games and the Suns lost all five. By the same standard, the Rockets are making McGrady's case for him. The club has looked completely lost offensively in the eight games the high-scoring wingman missed, losing all of them, while going a more respectable 4-3 with T-Mac in the lineup. He's returned, and will need to get scorching hot to lift the Rockets from 4-11 to the postseason. He's done it before, however, and if he can repeat his awesome final months of the 2002-03 season, he could factor heavily in the voting.

Chauncey Billups, Pistons -- With each passing day, it gets more surreal that this man has never played in an All-Star game. If it doesn't happen this year, Patrick Fitzgerald needs to launch an investigation. Billups is playing the best basketball of his career, popping in his usual 17.3 points per game while also handing out an uncharacteristic 8.2 assists per night. If he can keep distributing the ball so well while finding spots to get his own offense, the surprisingly potent Pistons offensive attack should continue to flourish. That, in turn, could get Billups the recognition that mysteriously has eluded him so far. It helps his case that no Piston other than Ben Wallace has received any individual accolades, despite the team's undeniable success over the past four seasons. Voters may feel the distinction is long overdue.

Marcus Camby, Nuggets -- While several of his teammates are off to slow starts, don't blame Gumby for the Nuggets' early-season struggles. The lanky big man has been a defensive stalwart, blocking 3.1 shots a night while pulling down 13.6 rebounds, and offensively he hasn't been too shabby either -- he's shooting 54.8 percent from the floor. However, two factors hurt his case. The first, as mentioned, is Denver's rough start -- it's very difficult to win MVP with a team that doesn't exceed expectations. Check out Kevin Garnett's vote totals for last season if you don't believe me. The second problem that ultimately may derail Camby is his history of injuries. So far he's missed only one game, but history says he's likely to miss 20 or 30 by the time all is said and done.

Gerald Wallace, Bobcats -- Remember, we're talking about unlikely candidates here. Who could be more unlikely than this guy? He plays for a second-year expansion team and was all but ignored by the other 29 teams as a free agent this summer. Yet you'd be hard-pressed to find anybody who has been better so far. Few players are filling the stat sheet like Wallace has -- he's averaging 17.6 points, 7.2 rebounds, 1.8 blocks and 2.6 steals (second in the league), and has the league's ninth-best shooting mark at 54.4 percent. Partly because of Wallace's play, the Bobcats have been surprisingly competitive thus far, going 4-5 with their improving small forward in the lineup. The team also went 1-5 while he was out with a wrist injury, further adding to his MVP luster. To get serious discussion, he'll have to keep up his individual numbers while sneaking the Cats into the playoffs. Those odds seem long even by the standards of this list. At the very least, however, he seems miles ahead of the pack in the Most Improved Player chase.

Michael Redd, Bucks -- Like Wallace, Redd has several factors that ultimately may doom his candidacy. He's pretty much a one-dimensional scorer, he's not in a major market, he's a jump-shooter who tends not to make the SportsCenter highlight reel, and his team is sputtering after a strong start. Nonetheless, Redd is well-positioned for MVP consideration should the Bucks climb back into the East's elite. He's fifth in the league in scoring at 25.9 points per game and is hitting 53.1 percent on 3-pointers. He's also nailed some clutch shots (including a game-tying 3-pointer on opening night and one game winner), and he erupted for 12 of Milwaukee's points in a 21-6 fourth-quarter run that stunned Indiana. If he can take care of the nuts and bolts -- gaudy stats and a winning team -- those pieces of flair could put him over the top.

3) Tom Knott of the Washington Times with a cruel but funny article on Wizards PF Jared Jeffries:

Not easy waking the dead

You usually can spot Jared Jeffries by the high number of pigeons roosting on his shoulders during a game. The statistical inertness of Jeffries is perhaps the product of uncertainty in a contract season. Only Wizards coach Eddie Jordan knows the veritable worth of Jeffries, the least of the starters, and that comes only from digesting reams of film, not box scores. Perhaps Jeffries leads the team in deflections and charges. Perhaps he leads the team in picks and screens that actually impede the path of the defender. Observers outside the team keep no tally on these essentials. The benefit of the doubt always goes to the coach in these matters, especially a coach who was among the best last season. Jordan might not want to lose the flickering fight in Jeffries with a benching, although Jeffries looks lost already. He is the so-called defensive luxury whose deficiencies have become more pronounced in the absence of Larry Hughes. Caron Butler is the logical heir to Hughes, although Butler often is stuck on the bench. The options are not ideal, not with so many incongruent parts. Antawn Jamison is hardly a power forward, shy that status by as many as 20 pounds of muscle. Yet he is a player, quirky as he is, with soft hands and a nose for the ball. Jeffries allegedly serves the power forward function at the moment despite one respectable game out of 13, the seven-point,15-rebound number against the Pistons. The rest of the time he is Dead Man Playing, and that is being unfair to the dead. Even the dead twitch on occasion. You could plop Jeffries in the middle of one of the many circles across the city, and you would not be able to distinguish him from the statue, production-wise. In another professional life, Jeffries could be a mime. Or a storefront mannequin. By now, in his fourth NBA season, Jeffries should have an idea about his place in the game. He is supposed to be Michael Ruffin, only with three more inches and a tad more offense and versatility. Instead, Jeffries appears to have just dropped into town from Bloomington, Ind. He is liable to bobble a pass out of bounds, as he did against the Bobcats, or clang a dunk attempt off the back of the rim, as he has done a number of times this season. His free throw shooting technique is enough to give anyone heartburn. Watch his left hand the next time he releases a free throw. He sometimes jerks it at the point of release, with predictable results. There appears to be way too much ball-hand activity with his off hand. Not much more than his off-hand fingertips should be touching the ball, which explains the sometimes dead, knuckleball-like rotation on his outside shot. Jeffries sometimes dribbles the length of the floor -- and looks good doing it -- only to reach that point in the process where it is possibly time to look for a shot. Jeffries knows he cannot the shoot the ball from the perimeter with accuracy, and the opposition knows the same, and so the transition opportunity often winds up being a substance-free exercise. Jeffries tries to weave his way to the basket, only to be enveloped in discomfort, before passing the ball out top to set up the offense. Jamison is the master of the unexciting but necessary rebound on the defensive end. You would think Jeffries would have picked up on that by now. The same goes for Brendan Haywood, another conscientious objector around the defensive glass. They have to live with the following: Earl Boykins, the munchkin/mascot of the Nuggets, had four rebounds in 24-plus minutes against the Wizards, while Haywood and Jeffries combined for five rebounds in 42 minutes. That puts them in the company of the dead, for you could roll someone out in a casket, park the casket near a basket and the person would record at least one rebound, if only because the ball at some point would fall right into the person's lifeless arms.

4) Mitch Lawrence of the New York Daily News reports on the return of Larry Brown to Detroit:

Pistons await return of the wanderer

As Larry Brown was busy at the Garden taking another crack at solving the Knicks, his former players were across the Hudson, delighting in the fact that they are through answering questions about their coach's plans and just about everything else pertaining to their old leader. "It's better and it's different than last year," Chauncey Billups said yesterday. "When we come in now, we don't hear about nothing like we did last year. We just hear about playing the games. There's nothing else going on. It's just winning and losing." Brown's status as yesterday's news in Auburn Hills changes tomorrow, when he brings the Knicks into the Palace. There, he will brace for what could be the rudest reception a returning coach has faced since Pat Riley came back to the Garden. Do Pistons fans remember the 2004 title Brown helped deliver? Or do they decide to remember last season, when Brown seemed to be coaching the last few months with one foot out of the Palace door? Do they remember the rout of the Lakers? Or do they think back on the constant rumors about Brown running off to New York, L.A. or Cleveland? "It will be very interesting to see how our fans react," Richard Hamilton said at the Pistons' morning shootaround in Manhattan. "I think it will be warm. Why wouldn't it? The simple fact is, we won a championship and got back there a second year." As early as it is, the Pistons look like they can make it back for a third straight season. No one in the NBA is winning at a better clip than Brown's old team, which last night raised its league-best mark to 11-2 with a 93-83 victory over the Nets. Brown's successor, Flip Saunders, has had the benefit of taking over a veteran team that knows how to win. "When you come into this kind of situation with the success they've had, are they going to say, "Well, we used to do it like this?'" Saunders said. "But that has never come up." What used to come up, when Brown did his two years in Detroit, was that he was the star of a star-less team. The flow of publicity toward the Hall of Fame coach created an undercurrent of resentment among more than a few players. You can hear still hear traces today. "What he brought to the Detroit fans - I mean, what we all brought to the fans - you can't discount that," Billups said. "I'll applaud when they introduce him. But we already knew how to win before he got here." Just not rings. Before Brown arrived, he was more famous for his nomadic travels than his on-court success. But with a title came a price. Brown's legend grew. "Looking back, I don't think all that other stuff about Larry hurt us, at all, last year," Billups said. "I think he gave us everything he had, no matter what plans he had after that. I know he wanted to win that championship. We just fell short." To this day, Brown swears he wanted to return to the Pistons. He still contends his departure was, "a shock to my system," even though half the NBA believes he had his exit strategy in place long before Game 7 in San Antonio. But the Pistons wouldn't have him back. He wore out the front office, which kept track of his back-channel talks with Cleveland as diligently as it scouted college talent. In an amazing public admission, the normally media-shy Detroit owner, Bill Davidson, said the Pistons were too much about Brown and not the team. Specifically, Brown's plans and medical problems. "As a friend of Larry, I would say that bothered me more than as a player," Rasheed Wallace said. "Larry is a grown man. He had to take care of business. Obviously, to myself and a lot of guys on the team, he was more than just a coach. And to a certain point, we were concerned about his health. But we still had to do what we had to do on the court and all that other stuff didn't affect us on the court." Now they're going about it in a different manner for a coach who seems to be the perfect fit in the post-Brown era.

"When you've got a coach like a Larry Brown, he takes some of the big shine away from the team," said one of Saunders' assistants, the old Bull and Laker Ron Harper. "When they won it all, it was more about what he'd done. But the players don't have to hear that no more. They feel like it's all about them now." It will be that way, until tomorrow night in Auburn Hills.

5) Bill Simmons of ESPN.com’s Page 2 with his unique Power Rankings:

In Marc Stein's weekly Power Rankings, he pegged Miami as the 16th-best team in the league this week. In other words, maybe there aren't 15 better teams than Miami, but 15 teams are playing better right now. Which is fine. But if we're running Power Polls from that perspective, shouldn't we also be running an occasional power poll devoted to which teams have the best ongoing chance to win the title? After all, only eight teams have a realistic chance of winning the NBA title ... and Miami is one of them. Shouldn't they be rewarded for that somehow? Along those lines, I'm introducing the "Big Picture." Every six weeks during the season, I will separate everyone into groups and count down the teams with the best chance of winning the NBA title (from No. 30 to No. 1). With comments, of course. Here's the Big Picture through November ...

THE RUDY GAY SWEEPSTAKES

30. Toronto - You might want to add Raptors games to your TiVo Season Pass, just for the night when Sam Mitchell flips during a timeout and starts decking his own players like Rambo in the shaving/shower scene from "First Blood." That's going to be fantastic. (Silver lining: As predicted in this space last month, Charlie Villanueva took such a beating after the draft that it probably turned his career around -- now he's playing with a chip on his shoulder and looking like the next Terry Cummings, right down to his actual looks. You have to love when it takes a few barbs from columnists and broadcasters -- and not the lure of $50-70 million down the road -- to get a guy to start playing hard every night.)

29. Atlanta - Is there a Hawks fan who wouldn't trade Marvin Williams for Chris Paul right now? The NBA drives me crazy. I swear to God. The Hawks desperately need a point guard, there's a future All-Star sitting there ... and they take Williams over Paul when they already have two wing guys. How does this happen? It was astonishing at the time, it's astonishing now, and I'm not sure what else to say. (Silver lining: The Zaza Pachulia signing -- $16 million over four years for a 21-year old center with borderline All-Star potential. Imagine if they were starting Zaza, Josh Smith, Al Harrington, Joe Johnson and Paul right now, with Josh Childress as the sixth man? That's a legitimate foundation for something. Then again, we wouldn't have NBA fans staring at Tyronn Lue before a tipoff and saying, "Wait a second, the ball boy is starting for them?" So maybe this worked out for the best.)

28. Charlotte - A fascinating case study: As an expansion team, the Bobcats' cap space was restricted for the first two seasons, so they're at only $33.5 million this season (with $21.7 million on the hook for next season). They spent that time searching for bargain basement guys, avoiding those Scalabrine-type signings that could clog their cap, and importing as many Tar Heels as possible to distract the fans. Now they're looking at $25 million to spend next summer and a solid group of young talent on the roster. It's that easy. (Mitigating factor: They'll probably blow that same cap space by spending $86 million on Joel Przybilla and another $60 million on Vlad Radmanovic next summer. The NBA ... it's FANNNNNNNNN-tastic!)

27. New York - I am not even remotely surprised with anything that's happening to this team. (Silver lining: Maybe Isiah makes indefensible trades, and maybe his free agent signings are routinely ludicrous, but you have to hand it to his drafting abilities. His last four lottery picks were Damon Stoudamire [Raptors, '95], Marcus Camby [Raptors, '96], T-Mac [Raptors, '97] and Channing Frye [Knicks, '05], who's legitimately good, much to my surprise. In other words, 4-for-4. And none of them were easy picks, except Camby. You throw in some patience, some savvy and a rudimentary understanding of the salary cap and he'd be right back in that thing.)

26. Boston - They have Paul Pierce and Ricky Davis playing the best ball of their respective careers, they're finishing up a November stretch that included 10 home games and four road games ... and if they lose tonight, they'll be 5-9. Yikes. You might not see them win again until Christmas week -- just wait until Pierce gets frustrated and stops playing as hard. Let's just say that I'm not happy. At all. Unless Al Jefferson emerges as a legitimate low-post threat over the next few weeks, there's a chance this could become the second-worst team in franchise history. I will now perform a prostate exam on myself. (Silver lining: When Scalabrine entered the Rockets game two weeks ago, the Sports Gal looked up from a magazine and said, "Hey, it's the guy from 'Beautiful Girls!'" She was serious.)

THE JABRONIE DIVISION

25. LA Lakers - Next time you watch "Scarface," look for the disturbing parallels between Tony Montana's career and Kobe's career. It's borderline startling -- the meteoric rise of two superstars, followed by embarrassing trials, a healthy dose of egomania and paranoia, soul-selling turns for the worse (Manny's shocking death and the shocking Shaq trade), and the crazy symmetry of Tony's taking on an entire army of Sosa's soldiers by himself and Mamba's taking 40-45 shots a game for the 2005-06 Lakers with the worst supporting cast in the league. Is it too late to build a giant water fountain at the Staples Center for Kobe to fall into headfirst? (Mitigating Factor: For five months, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why Phil Jackson would take this job for any reason other than "He's whipped by his girlfriend" or "Maybe this is the NBA coaching equivalent of Dennis Miller's pocketing $5 million for 'Bordello of Blood.'" But what if he's secretly sitting on a giant book contract about this season, and he's been secretly taking copious notes the entire time? So he makes $10 million from the Lakers and another $5 million from the best-selling book, tentatively titled, "Mamba and Me: My Season Coaching a Guy Who Nicknamed Himself After A Deadly Python." And then he's out the door on July 1 and living in Malibu in a much bigger house, along with his butler, Charley Rosen. I think this could have some legs.)

24. Seattle - Looking like the Year-After Team in the West. It happens. Fortunately, if they fire new coach Bob Weiss within the next five weeks, they can bring him back to Best Buy for a full refund. (Fun Internet fact of the week: If you click on Robert Swift's 2005-06 game log on ESPN.com, a page comes up that says, "PAGE NOT FOUND." Not even the Frederic Weis Era contained this little excitement.)

23. NOOC Hornets - Hey, at least they're playing hard. (Mitigating Factor: We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of the immortal words, "It's time for the Birdman to fly.")

22. Portland - On the right night, you can catch these guys and think, "Wait a second, why aren't they a contender in the West?" (Mitigating Factor: On other nights, you find yourself saying things like, "Now I know what it would look like if Joel Przybilla was sentenced to play on one of those crazy 'And 1' teams" and "Uh-oh, why does it look like Ruben Patterson might take a swing at his own coach?")

DEATH BY INJURY BUG

21. Utah - Even though they should have taken Chris Paul, I like the Okur-Kirilenko-Williams foundation. And by the way, if you're a Pistons fan, does Okur's "Leo the Late Bloomer" routine make you more angry at Okur or the Pistons for giving up on him? It's not like you can blame Joe Dumars for that one, right? Okur always looked like Chris Noth after an all-night drinking binge when he played for Detroit. Now he's the greatest Euro center since Arvydas Sabonis. Go figure. (Random note: Ever notice how Carlos Boozer's life has been in shambles ever since he stabbed a benevolent blind guy in the back? First, Athens ... then last year's Jazz team stunk ... then the fans turned on him ... then David Stern's new dress code meant he couldn't show off his chest hair on the bench ... and now he can't get off the injured list. He might have to hire Earl Hickey as his karma consultant.)

20. Houston - Yao Ming, Complementary Player. It's official. (Random thought: Imagine being Houston GM Carroll Dawson right now? Not only did he get fleeced in the Rafer Alston-Mike James trade, he got fleeced by Rob Babcock. Shouldn't you automatically resign when that happens? How can you show up at work every day? That's like being a professional poker player and losing a celebrity tournament to Gary Busey.)

19. New Jersey - Haven't seen anything to make me waver from my "They're a three-man team, they can't afford the inevitable injury that's coming, they aren't even that good to begin with" prediction. Although the Vince-Kobe catfight on Sunday night was fantastic -- like watching Star Jones exchange shoves with Melissa Rivers on the red carpet or something. I need a few more of those moments before I believe in the Nets. (Random historical note: Did you know that there has been a forward named Cliff Robinson in the NBA for 26 straight seasons? Original Cliff played during 1979-1989, with Current Cliff joining the league the following season. As far as I can tell, that's the longest run for one name in the history of the league. Even stranger, they had similar careers -- Original Cliff's career stats were a little better, but Current Cliff lasted longer and even made the '94 All-Star team. According to basketballreference.com's rating system for potential Hall of Famers, with anyone scoring over 135 being a likely Hall of Famer, Original Cliff scored an 80, and Current Cliff scores a 90. By the way, I spent the last 25 minutes researching this paragraph. So humor me.)

NO MAN'S LAND

18. Orlando - I just love the fact that Brian Hill is coaching this team -- the NBA coaching situation is so abysmal, teams are rehiring guys they already fired. Seriously, has anything like that happened before, in any walk of life? That would be like CBS announcing in 2013 that they've decided to give Craig Kilborn his own late night show. What a league. And the crazy thing is, Hill's doing a good job -- statistically, they're the best defensive team in the league, and he actually has Steve Francis playing hard. They need to trade him now before he flakes out again. (Random prediction: Dwight Howard has a 30-30 game this season.)

17. Sacramento - Put it this way: If you were Mark Cuban and you knew the struggling Kings might be ready to shake things up, wouldn't you fly to Vegas for a few days, go partying with the Maloofs and pull the Shawn Sullivan Memorial "Fake Shots" trick on them -- just keep ordering tequila shots, only tip the bartender to put water in your glass -- until they eventually traded you Peja Stojakovic for a package like "Marquis Daniels, DJ Mbenga, two second-round picks and the rights to Pavel Podkolzin's inevitable WWE career?" This stuff used to happen all the time in the old days -- heck, the Yankees and Red Sox almost traded Ted Williams and Joe DiMaggio once when their owners got drunk together. So why wouldn't it happen now? Or does it just happen in fantasy leagues? (Random question: If Shareef Abdur-Rahim bought Google stock, would it immediately drop under $100 a share? If he joined the cast of "Lost," would the show immediately start sucking? What are the limits of his powers? I really want to know.)

16. Washington - Just one month ago, I was convinced these guys would surprise people in the East. Now I'm wavering a little bit, and here's why: Would YOU have fun playing with Gilbert Arenas? Me neither. That's a problem. (Completely unrelated note: You know how steroids testing affected the performances of certain major leaguers this season, although we're not supposed to point fingers even when guys who normally hit 25-30 homers suddenly hit just eight? Well, the opposite seems to be happening with random drug testing in the NBA -- players who would normally be toking it up five nights a week are apparently cutting back. You never know when you have to pee in a cup. So if your favorite NBA player has an extra hop in his step this year and doesn't look like he just emerged from a dark basement or just suffered a mild concussion ... well, now you know why.)

15. Chicago - Everyone keeps talking about these guys as a potential KG destination ... I mean, I know Kevin McHale has made some dumb moves recently, but is there a conceivable trade involving Chicago that would possibly make sense? So you get Tyson Chandler, Kirk Hinrich, Luol Deng and Tim Thomas' contract for him. Big deal. How does that help Minnesota? They just traded a dollar for three quarters. Congratulations. Only one KG trade possibly makes sense: KG to the Pacers for Jermaine O'Neal, Austin Croshere and Danny Granger. That's it. If you're trading KG, you need to get a top-20 guy back, a rotation guy AND a good young player, and KG needs to go to a contender that would jump a level with him aboard. Or else it's not worth it. (Here's another fake trade: Luol Deng, Tim Thomas' contract and a No. 1 pick for Peja and Corliss Williamson's contract. Who doesn't make that one?)

THE FISHMONGERS

14. Golden State - I hate the way these guys play -- they launch bad 3s like a 12-seed in the NCAA Tournament hoping to get lucky against UNC or Duke. Can you really expect to advance in the playoffs taking 25 3s a game? They don't even have a good 3-point shooter other than Derek Fisher -- Baron Davis and Mike Dunleavy Jr. are a combined 34-for-154 right now. That's atrocious. Why play like that when you have a good point guard and so many good athletes? More importantly, how are they 9-6? I'm perplexed. (Speaking of perplexing: Three years ago, I wrote about the time Kevin Ollie signed for $15 million, when I called my buddy House to have him guess how much Ollie signed for, and House just kept throwing out numbers like "Two million for two years? Two point five for two years?" while I kept saying, "Nope, higher ... nope, keep going up." And we were on the phone for about 30 minutes until he nailed the contract number, followed by House passing out on the phone. Well, let's just say that moment was recreated last month after the Warriors signed Dunleavy to a $44 million extension. House's first guess was $19 million off. I'm not kidding.)

13. Philly - There's an astonishing Iverson season in the works, and it's not getting nearly enough attention: Through 15 games, he's averaging 33.6 points and a jaw-dropping 43.9 minutes per game, 7.9 assists and only 2.9 turnovers, and shooting 46% from the field. C-Webb's addition has pushed Iverson to another level -- he's getting easy baskets, doesn't have to handle the ball as much, seems like he's enjoying himself and everything else. Amazing player, amazing career. Too bad I don't feel as good about his team. (Historical footnote: A.I. definitely cracks the starting five of my "We'll Never See Another Player Quite Like This Again" Team, along with McHale, Barkley, Magic and Gervin. Those have to be the five most unique players of all time. Even with Larry Bird, there were parts of his game that reminded people of Rick Barry. There is simply no historical precedent for McHale, Barkley, Iverson, Magic and Gervin. They made AND broke the mold.)

12. Denver - I'm not sure what to make of these guys, frankly. But they need to make a move fast: After the Nene/K-Mart injuries, Marcus Camby started playing 40 minutes a night, which never, ever, ever, EVER ends well - he's the human equivalent of Fred Taylor's groin. They'll do something. And soon. (Fake e-mail from Danny Ainge to Kiki Vandeweghe: "Hey, Kiki, any interest in Mark Blount? Any at all? Seven-foot centers with reliable 16-foot jumpers aren't exactly growing on trees. You will love this guy, he lights up a locker room. And what about Raef LaFrentz? His knees haven't felt this good in years! Would you like to see a tape of his 7-for-7 3-point game against the Rockets? I can FedEx it to you overnight. Did you know he went third in the 1998 Draft? It's true. Lemme know if you want the tape of that game -- it's a shooting display for the ages. Hope all is well.")

11. Memphis - Believe me, I love that Pau Gasol pulled a Jake Plummer and grew a beard that pushed his game to another level. Now he's even producing at crunch time! It's incredible what facial hair can do for some people -- heck, it even worked for Brian Austin Green. In Gasol's case, he went from "Spanish metrosexual center" to "rugged big man you could see chopping wood in one of those plaid winter jackets" in no time whatsoever. Brilliant move. Suddenly he's a 20-10 guy. I'm just not sold on his supporting cast. (Important note: The facial hair gimmick doesn't necessarily work for everyone. For instance, Matt Clement had a great beard going during the 2005 season, but that didn't stop him from self-destructing down the stretch. It didn't work for Neil O'Donnell or Kurt Warner. It certainly didn't work for Dan Fouts and Dennis Miller on "Monday Night Football." And it failed for me in Jacksonville, Fla., when I was covering last year's Super Bowl -- seriously, look at the thing. Even the 2005 Astros had better facial hair.)

POTENTIALLY INTRIGUING

10. Minnesota - Only because of KG. And because they're one of the few teams that can shift gears and get stops when they need them. You never know. (Random 2005-06 Clippers highlight: Right when everyone quieted down before the national anthem for the Clips-Minnesota game, there were a few seconds when the place went dark, while we were waiting for the singers to get ready ... and someone screamed out, "Hey Marko, you suck!" That was quickly followed by someone else screaming, "Kandi, you suck!" Yes, it's always fun when the ex-Clippers return home. You can feel the love.)

9. Milwaukee - The Bucks just finished the best 7-6 month in recent memory -- road games at Philly, New Jersey, Golden State, Sacramento, Utah, Minnesota and the LA Clippers, home games against Miami, Golden State, Indiana, Philly, Detroit and Dallas. That's a whopping 13 games in four weeks without a break (and they were getting used to Magloire at center, no less). Watch what happens in December when their schedule calms down. They're for real. (Random note: Not only does TJ Ford look exactly like Tiger Woods, he may have replaced Mike Vick as the athlete who makes you hold your breath every time he's hurtling himself into a group of players at breakneck speed. When the Bucks played the Clippers two weeks ago, I cringed every time he drove the lane -- you can only imagine how the coaching staff feels. And while we're here, he's right up there with Josh Smith, Andrei Kirilenko, Chris Andersen and Earl Boykins on the short list of "Random NBA Players Who Are 10 Times More Exciting In Person Than You Thought They Would Be.")

THE SLEEPERS

8. LA Clippers - You know those good March Madness teams that have two polished senior guards, one quality inside player who's definitely a lottery pick, one good slasher, a clumsy-but-effective white guy playing center and a decent bench? And they take smart shots, make big 3s, play solid defense, finish their fast breaks and make all their free throws at the end of games? Well, that's the 2005-06 Clippers in a nutshell ... and that's why they're headed for 50-plus wins and a No. 3 seed. (More to come in my first Clippers column ... which I've been afraid to write because I don't want to jinx what's happening. Last season, as I was writing my first "Here come the Clippers" column, I think the sound of my fingers hitting the laptop actually broke Shaun Livingston's kneecap. So I'm being much more careful this time. Just watch one of their games. You'll understand.)

7. Phoenix - Everything's going according to plan: The Suns are treading water, acclimating the new guys and biding their time until Stoudemire comes back. By the way, did you ever think in a million years that Boris Diaw would be doing a reasonably decent Joe Johnson impersonation? Boris Diaw??? Hey, maybe Steve Nash IS the best player in the league -- somehow he's managed to turn Boris Diaw's career around, and I didn't even know there was a career to be turned. (Random suggestion: Just to be sure Nash is this great, I think the Suns should trade for Brian Scalabrine next week. Let's put his powers to the ultimate test. Please. I'm begging you.)

FATALLY FLAWED

6. Cleveland - They remind me of MJ's Bulls teams in the late-'80s -- because LeBron has reached a certain level, they're always going to win 50 games, kill any bad/mediocre/decent teams at home, and look fantastic on certain nights. But when a game comes along like that Thanksgiving game against Indiana, and suddenly they have to play defense, and somebody's actually guarding LeBron, and they're settling for jumpers and one-on-one plays over good shots ... that's when they get exposed. Let the record show that the Spurs beat them by 26 and Indy handled them by 18. Wasn't a coincidence. (Saddest ongoing subplot: The erosion of LeBron's passing skills. Here's a guy who sees the court like Magic and used to delight in setting up his teammates ... now he's hoisting up 29 shots in some games? What happened to the guy who made everyone else better? Remember the days when we wondered whether he would average a triple-double for a season? Long gone. Honestly, I liked watching him more as a rookie. This is right up there with Lindsay Lohan losing her boobs in my book -- it's a borderline national tragedy. I can't talk about this anymore, I'm getting upset.)

5. Miami - Just a bewildering roster. Really, the Heat didn't know that GP was washed up? That Antoine Walker would never accept being a complementary player? That White Chocolate's confidence would be shaken by the fact that Dwyane Wade needs the ball in his hands? I have no idea what they were thinking. And now Wade is developing bad habits -- launching bad 3s, driving into double-teams, pretending not to notice wide-open teammates and so on. Bad times all around. Hey, at least Shaq isn't hurt. (Strangest ongoing subplot: Alonzo Mourning's career was slowing down five years ago, then he had a major kidney transplant, tried to come back, had to take another year off, made one last comeback ... and now he's having 21-rebound games and nine-block games and would probably make the Eastern All-Star team if they held the voting today. And nobody seems remotely shocked by any of this? How is this not a humongous story?)

4. Dallas - They beat Detroit and San Antonio by a combined 56 points this month ... and I'm still not sold on them. They seem soft to me. I guess we'll see. (Most fascinating ongoing subplot: The Mavs have two expiring contracts for big bucks on the team -- Van Horn at $15 million, Jason Terry at $7.5 million (who's playing extremely well) -- and there could be a bunch of big chips moving around, starting on Dec. 15. For instance, what if the Kings decided to dump salary and offered them Brad Miller, Kenny Thomas and Corliss Williamson for Van Horn and DeSagana Diop? What if the Magic offered them Steve Francis and Grant Hill for Terry and Van Horn? What if the Celtics offered them LaFrentz, Scalabrine and Dan Dickau for Van Horn, as well as the chance to break the "Most white guys in one trade" record? Keep an eye on this one.)

THE POWDER KEG

3. Indiana - I caught them in person Sunday at the Staples Center -- great team, great coach, great balance, great everything. And they're flexible as hell. Near the end of the game, Carlisle brought in Danny Granger but kept Jackson and Artest in the game, then stuck Artest on Elton Brand (who had been killing them all game). Are you kidding me? How many teams could even think of trying something like that? I don't care if a crazy guy is their best player -- I wouldn't want any part of them in a seven-game series. Of course, I wouldn't wager on them, either. (Highlight of my Clippers season so far: During a stoppage in the second half, Ron Artest was standing right near us by the 3-point line, with the name of his record album carved in the back of his head, of course. So somebody screamed out, "Hey Ron, I bought your album ... IT [STUNK]!!!!!" First, everyone giggled. Then we quickly realized that he might charge into the stands and inexplicably beat the hell out of one of us. So Ron turns around, searches the faces to see who yelled at him, finally finds the guy ... and gives him a big wink. High comedy. I like Ron Artest. He's my favorite NBA player who was ever suspended for a season for attacking a fan.)

THE CONTENDERS

2. Detroit - Classic moment in the second game of the season: Blount makes a jumper with 0.8 seconds remaining to put the Celtics up by one. The crowd goes crazy. Pierce jumps on Blount, knocks him over and then everyone else pig piles on them. Meanwhile, the Pistons are watching this whole thing unfold and thinking, "Um, we still have one second left and Rip Hamilton's on our team." So they call timeout, set up the picket-fence play for Rip -- somewhere, Dennis Hopper was smiling -- and Rip curls around the double screen and sinks a wide-open jumper. Ball game. And then he did the thing where he skips around holding the letters of his jersey out. (The lesson, as always: Don't pull that crap with the Detroit Pistons.)

1. San Antonio - Every year, Duncan and the Spurs fly to Boston and beat the absolute crap out of the Celtics. And every year, my Dad comes home from the game, calls me and says, "They toyed with us, they absolutely toyed with us. What a great team. I remember when we used to toy with teams like that." (Granted, that was 20 years ago. But he's right.)